Working out= my miracle drug

[Rachel]

I just got done doing No More Trouble Zones and I feel so much better. I can't even express how much working out helps me mentally. The release is unlike anything else! If I'm having a bad day and then I work out, I am guaranteed to have a good day the rest of the day. It makes me not even want to take a day off ever, but I know it's important to rest your body. YES it is so hard to get started sometimes. But that is 90% of the battle, I think- just starting. Within the first 5 minutes I usually forget I didn't want to do it in the first place.

Thank you all for your suggestions on my last post about craving sweets. Tanie especially got me thinking when she mentioned avoiding HFCS and artificial sweeteners. I drink a disgusting amount of Diet Coke. Especially lately. I honestly don't like thinking about it. I feel so hypocritical because I care SO much about what I put into my body- except for when it comes to Diet Coke. I really, truly need to cut back and ultimately stop having it daily. I also want to quit caffeine, as I have mentioned many times. Now when I think about the fact that I've been drinking so much more Diet Coke lately, it also makes sense that I've been wanting more sweets. So I am refocusing on quitting caffeine and cutting way back on dc. This is going to be so incredibly hard for me! So tomorrow my goal is to stop at 3 cans. I know that's a lot... don't judge me. I'm taking baby steps.

While I was working out, I was thinking about how strange it is that my body image goes in cycles. It's something I've noticed over and over. I will go several days thinking that I look great. I will feel toned and thin. I will even start thinking I don't really need to lose more. Then I will enter into a period where all I see is my flaws. I will look down at my body and feel SHOCKED that I thought I was done losing weight. Everything will look big to me- my stomach, thighs, arms. After a few days of that, I will start thinking I look good again. About 2 days ago I entered into my "down" cycle- before that I was in my "up" cycle for several days. I don't get that down about it, it's not to the point where I get depressed, but it's literally like my body gets fatter before my very eyes. I don't know what triggers it, and I don't know what triggers me coming out of it. And worst of all, I don't know which way my body truly looks- I don't know which cycle to believe, if that makes sense. Maybe I'm somewhere in between.

I don't know if I will always go through these period of ups or downs or not. I'm going to start paying more attention to when and why they start, and I'll write about it if I notice. I'm sure the fact that my body has gone through a HUGE transformation in less than a year is attributing to this body image war I have going on. I just need to give it time and things will even out a bit I'm sure.

I am so terribly scared of maintenance! I almost don't want to enter into it because I'm so scared. I think I'll just keep losing forever... hahaha. I hope all of you have a great 4th of July weekend!

[turn inside out]

I quit caffeine about 3 years ago. I was drinking 3-4 cups of coffee every day and diet coke with dinner. It was hard for the first week or so. I had awful headaches and I felt like I couldn't focus on anything for more than a few minutes. After that, the headaches went away, I started sleeping better. No more checking the clock every few hours at night, I usually sleep through until morning. I find I can actually focus better now than when I was on caffeine, and I get a lot more done. Now I find that if I forget and have coffee at someone's house or something like that, it makes me feel weird, fidgety and (this one is a little scary) makes my heart flutter.

I've also (very recently) been trying to stay away from HFCS and I have to say, I really do crave sweets less. I still use 2 tsp of sugar in my cup of decaf tea in the morning, but other than that I don't really eat anything with added sugar.

Rachel, you look SO great!! The pictures of you and your family from the beach... so inspiring! Thank you for sharing so much with all of us. :)

[Alison]

Thank you so much for your candid posts. I have thought the same things about my body image...going in cycles also, but I never think to blog about that...it seems like a thought I think and then a few minutes later I forget it. You are addressing those inner thoughts that are the ones plaguing us. I think it's just an issue of a few small things compounding into a larger issue. For you, not working out + craving sweets = guilt which then makes you dislike your body. This is a guess, am I really far off or not? I am only saying this because I do the same EXACT thing. When I have been working out and my food is right, I feel great and I look at myself and say, you look great! Then if I have a few off days I start bashing myself. It's so weird. I will see pictures of myself and not recognize the thin person in them at first because I am looking for the overweight person I still see sometimes when I look in the mirror. Weight loss is such a mind thing isn't it?

Good luck with the cutting down on diet coke- I don't drink diet soda on a reg basis, only cold water out of my giant insulated WW mug and I notice if I start drinking it I will crave it and then start to crave other stuff. I seem to crave sweets the more I eat them. So I try to stay away entirely unless it's something healthy like fresh berries or a fruit smoothie.

Sorry for the long comment! Hope you have a great day!!

[Brandy]

Your reflection reminded me of myself. I'm nowhere near hitting my goal as you have done for yourself, but I too have those up and down days. You may be right about you not being used to your new body yet. The worst is when I go shopping on a down day--nothing looks good!

[Katrina]

I totally go up and down with the way I feel about my body. Just last night I said to my hubby, "I don't know if I will ever love the way my body looks." That statement made me sad, I need to change that. I think it is normal to feel good about the way we look some days and not others, but I would like to feel good about the way I look the majority of the time. I think after transforming your body your mind doesn't catch up for awhile, so I am also hoping it gets better with time. Don't be scared of maintenance, I was absolutely terrified when I started it and of course it took some adjustment but maintaining is all about balance. Join the maintenance group, it's great support!