In the trenches...

[Erin P.]

Sometimes I feel like a conqueror. I feel on top of the world. I feel like a success story. Other days...oh, like TODAY, I feel like crap. I think I just barely stopped myself from going over my 35 flex points for the week. That being said, I think I've only ever gone over my 35 points once in the 6 months I've been on Weight Watchers. Right now I still have tonight and tomorrow to get through. And we are headed to Key West tomorrow for a couple of days. I am so tired I could scream, yet here I sit. I did exercise this morning. Ran 3 miles. They were horrible. I think it was in the 80's with full Miami humidity and no wind at 6:30am.
I just don't feel "game on". Sometimes I am so good at convincing myself I will win this war. Today, I just feel like I am at the bottom of the trench and I can't see my way out yet.

I just spent a week with my mother in law at my house, the week before I was at my sister's house, and now I have this Key West trip. I feel off my routine and I don't like it. Plus, I am honestly scared that the holidays are just going to send me out of my damn mind. One bad day and I feel like I blew it for the week. I'm not necessarily a sad/angry eater. Much more a happy let's celebrate anything together eater.

To add to this, I've always been VERY VERY strict about not cheating MYSELF. By that I mean I don't eat something and then hope I didn't "see it". You know what I mean? I count and account for everything in my tracker book. But, I've been crappy at this with travel and house guests. I need to go strict again, right now.
.
It is so hard to learn new healthy habits. I'm sure I could pick up a new bad habit with my eyes closed.

This should be called "Dear Holiday Season...you win". (This only makes sense if you read my last post).

Sorry to be a downer. We all know this journey is hills and valleys. Last week was more hill...this week is more valley. I just want some more hills during this time that food becomes omnipresent in all our lives. I want shining moments other than grease on my face from junk food.

I am thinking that I want to give myself something for Christmas. I'm down 42 pounds. I wonder if I am insane to think I could lose 8 pounds between now and Christmas to officially shed FIFTY pounds? I want to see how I do with this weeks weigh-in. That will help me set a pace. Maybe it will be my New Year's goal. I actually like the sound of that better. Entering 2009 carrying 50 pounds less sounds nice. Stay tuned for this one. I already have quite the dress to wear! I'll never really wear it, but I like the thought!

I am still "training" for my 5k on 12/12. I'm trying to do 30 Day Shred (30DS) 3x a week, and run 3x a week. I am trying to run 3-4 miles during those runs (which means I can run a 5k just fine...that's why this isn't really training...just staying on top of things so I am not totally out of shape when that day rolls around.)

I am going to stop rambling like crazy now. I hope no one actually read all this drivel. I think I am mostly just tired.
I hope all of you are having a successful week!

[Tanie]

Have fun in Key West! And go for the 50 lbs lost- you can do it!!!!

[Amanda]

You've already come so far! Don't worry about the holidays....the face that you've already gotten through summer BBQs and Halloween means you're destined for success. And it's great that you still got out and got active even when you didn't feel up to it! :-)

[Sexy Parrothead]

Wow, it sounds like you have had a lot of non-normalcy lately, with people being at your house or you being somewhere else, but you did it. You stayed with it, so even though you are down in your valley right now, you will be on on top again. You are doing awesome. Enoy your time in the Keys, I wish I was down there!

[Shannon H.]

You will find your weapons again soon and you will conquer even more! We are all right there with you ready to kick some holiday butt! I can totally relate to "not seeing" food. I used to be such a cheater with my food log (no wonder it never worked until I started being honest with myself). I have seen myself cheating again lately and have to slap myself out of it. I forget about my cheats by weigh in day and then can't seem to understand why I didn't lose (well, duh, Shannon! You cheated!).

[Heather]

I read every single word and it makes perfect sense. This is such a mind game and when we are tired we lose strength in our mind. Look how far you have come Erin!!! 42 pounds is AMAZING!!! It was all with hard work and determination. Sure there were good days and bad days but you are that conqueror you mentioned in the beginning. It is okay that you are tired but I believe you can and will give yourself those 8 pounds for Christmas or the New Year. Leaving behind 50 in 09 - how cool is that? The holiday season isn't going to win - it is going to offer you challenges - challenges you will push past. You can do this Erin!!!