I very quickly wanted to post and get myself accountable again to posting regularly. I've started seeing a therapist and I'm hoping that we're on to some good things with clearing out the 'junk' in my head. I started an additional medication that although I didn't feel was really doing anything different initially, I've since decided it is helping in subtle ways that I wasn't realizing.
I have always and forever HATED to work out in the yard. It's not my thing. I don't care to be outside or any…
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Added by Kellie on May 12, 2009 at 3:45pm —
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BCM= Body Clutter Mission
What is your image of beautiful?
Not sure. Beautiful can definitely be something on the inside and outside. In general, I feel pretty confident on what I have on the inside.
The best description I can give of beautiful (remember this is MY perception)...in the ideal world to me...
slender, thin face, cute hair, nice smile...that would be the main picture that comes to my mind.
Diet schemes that you have tried and how you did with them and what you fe…
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Added by Kellie on April 19, 2009 at 2:00am —
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Ok! I've been reading another book called Body Clutter by Marla Cilley and Leanne Ely. At the end of each section there is a self-evaluation to do. They call these "Body Clutter Missions". So..here's the 1st one.
First memory of comfort food. Is it a certain food or any food?
I remember clear back when I was probably 13 or 14 having an 'awareness' of
good food. I've always liked baking so cookies have always been around for as long as I can remember. My first memory of cookies is…
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Added by Kellie on April 19, 2009 at 1:30am —
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Here I am again! No excuses just the same old stuff as usual. I've decided to not post about what I've not been doing and what is not working, because I already know! It's time to move forward and make one good choice at a time.
Now...if you've stumbled across my post bare with me while I have a talk with myself.
Kellie...it's week 5 into the 12-week Biggest Loser contest at work. Where are you going to be at the next 4-week weigh-in? It's a decision away and you've proven that time and time a…
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Added by Kellie on April 7, 2009 at 1:54am —
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I have a confession but also a NSV! This morning I consumed a large amount of peanut M&Ms (mind you this was before I really even got moving this morning)...and the OLD me starting saying
Well, you've screwed up for today you may as well call it a wash and start new tomorrow. But, this amazing inspirational thought came to me.
Don't let the best, get in the way of better! Now, this is a quote that a guy in my church ward used when he was giving a lesson in my home. And it is SO…
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Added by Kellie on January 7, 2009 at 3:56pm —
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Wow, 2009 is here! Where does time go? I'm going to hurry and post the ugly news and get it out of the way. I gained 10 pounds over the holidays. How did it happen? A lot easier than it'll be taking it off. I'm really really disappointed in myself right now.
I decided I'm not going to tell anyone (aside from my blogging) that I'm trying to eat better and all of that. I don't want that as an added pressure in my head, plus I'm curious how much I will have to lose before people start noticing. I'…
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Added by Kellie on January 5, 2009 at 10:51pm —
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Well, another 2.2 pounds down! At least the scale is now heading in the right direction. I've been trying to just be more conscious of what I eat and hopefully that will get me through the holidays. If I can just even stay the same weight I am now and not gain through the holidays, that'll make me a happy woman!
I am still debating whether or not I want to start going back to the WW meetings. I am seriously considering starting the first of January.
This is a short post for now, but I've got t…
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Added by Kellie on November 26, 2008 at 12:55pm —
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I debated not posting my results because I was quite ashamed. I'm down 0.7 is all. That's a pitiful return. I can't seem to kick the sweets. I don't know what it is. Sometimes I'm not even craving them, I just want the taste of it in my mouth. (Maybe that is a craving?!) Haha.
Positive changes this week:
I did get on the treadmill once. (First time in probably 6 months anyways.)
Several times of stopping myself from eating something when I wasn't truly hungry.
Few times of changing my ideal cho…
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Added by Kellie on November 12, 2008 at 1:00pm —
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I'm back. One of these times it's going to be the final time that I disappear and hopefully that's where I'm at. I am officially at a point that something must change. (If for no other reason, my clothes are fitting me tight right now and I'm not about to go buy a new wardrobe.) At this point, I have decided to really try using my blog as a focusing tool for ME and a measuring tool for where I started and where I am DETERMINED to be. I am going to work harder at supporting fellow members of BTL…
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Added by Kellie on November 5, 2008 at 2:22pm —
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WOW! That's all I can say! I am overwhelmed with the amount of sincere comments from so many of you. And it helps to hear that others have been in the same place and most importantly that they've OVERCOME it. Like many of you said, I am not ready to give up. If I were I wouldn't have reached out, and in all truthfulness, I know I'm not ready to quit.
I've never been a quitter. In fact, I've always been quite determined and that's why it's frustrating with this weight loss because I can't seem t…
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Added by Kellie on October 11, 2008 at 12:00am —
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(
Disclaimer: If you are needing motivation and the such, this may not be the post of the day for you. I've really got some head things that I'd like to figure out.)
I've really fought back and forth with myself trying to decide if I should just call the weight loss blogging a 'wash' with my efforts and move on. I really feel guilty for being a part of this community and not having what it takes to actively pursue weight loss. I feel guilty that I've acquired some readers/friends on here…
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Added by Kellie on October 10, 2008 at 1:51am —
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I really don't have time to post much right now. But I wanted to update for the week! I lost 3.6 pounds! YAHOO!! And it's even that TOM. I was totally excited. I do have 2 birthdays this week, but I'm not afraid! I don't care for cake and ice cream a ton, so I'm facing this week with confidence! :)
I will post more tomorrow if I get a chance!!!
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Added by Kellie on September 29, 2008 at 11:58pm —
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I confess, I'm in a bad place right now. And I've very much been dreading this post, because I want to be honest with those who have been along my journey thus far, and have been so encouraging. I really feel like I've let not only myself down, but my friends here as well! So, this is going to be a short post but something to try getting the ball rolling again. I also want to apologize for not being a better friend and supporting you in your goals, I will do better.
I FINALLY got myself back on…
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Added by Kellie on September 22, 2008 at 10:30pm —
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Ok. Definitely no rhyme or reason to this post, in fact, a lot of jumbled fragmented thoughts...but I need to get them out and process them.
What if I am scared of being anything but this 'fat' person I've become? In all honesty, I'm scared. I'm not sure what of. As I sit here writing this, tears are burning in my eyes and I just got an awful feeling and thought. As I thought this thought, I got this terrible gnawing feeling in my stomach, like maybe I was on to something.
Am I scared because…
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Added by Kellie on September 6, 2008 at 3:22am —
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Wow! Obviously it's been forever since I posted last, and while I'd like to report that everything has been on the up and up, it's not been. I have REALLY been struggling and have gone rather crazy actually. I'm not sure what finally bottomed me out, but something did. I have done a bit of self-evaluation and have been questioning myself if I'm happy with the way I've been living (food wise) the last several weeks. Honestly, I feel like an out of control cow! I FEEL fatter (more-so than the real…
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Added by Kellie on September 1, 2008 at 10:31pm —
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Two posts in less than a half hour, wow, that's accomplishment! :)
I just posted this comment on
Arlene's post about losing slow and steady and it was a good pep talk for myself. Hopefully this will hype me up for this coming weeks success.
You and I are totally on the same wavelength with this whole slow loss thing. But it's so true. I keep having to tell myself, slow and steady is so much better. And…
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Added by Kellie on August 6, 2008 at 4:00pm —
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I really REALLY debated not posting this week. Mainly just because I feel very ashamed and depressed about the outcome. Yep, 4 pound loss last week, 3 pound gain this week. I'm very frustrated. I can honestly say I wasn't surprised at the number, but disappointed in myself. Yesterday I kept eating and eating. I couldn't stop and I knew what the end result would be, WHY isn't that enough? I am self-defiant in every aspect. (By the way, I'll warn now, TOM is visiting.)
I'm honestly in a lot of fr…
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Added by Kellie on August 6, 2008 at 3:49pm —
6 Comments
Ok, well I debated doing a midweek update because it's not been so fabulous. I've decided the purpose of my blogging though. There are some blogs that are so motivational/inspirational on the weight loss front. And then there will be some like MINE, that are there to show others that if you just keep picking yourself up long enough, you'll get to your goal. You see, I'm determined to not give up. But my progress is a lot more unsteady than a lot on here. So, I might have only lost 22 pounds thus…
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Added by Kellie on August 5, 2008 at 12:01am —
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And the results of weigh-in, as if you can't tell from the title....*drum roll* down exactly
FOUR POUNDS. I actually had to re-weigh myself, do you have those times you just don't believe what the scale says? I've had that both directions. Re-weighing because I can't believe it's that high...AND, too low. So it was one of those pleasant surprises.
PLUS, are you ready for this? I'm .2 below my next goal, which was to get under 210. It's a scary place, really. That .2 scares me, because I'…
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Added by Kellie on July 30, 2008 at 6:06pm —
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I decided to do a recap on my week so far and see where I'm at on reaching my goals for the week.
I've already done my 2 days of walking and I still have until Wednesday. So guess what? I'm going walking tomorrow night after I get kiddies in bed. I was going tonight but hubby had other plans so I had no one to stay with the kids. So, tomorrow for sure. And that will give me 3 walks. I'll be an over-achiever this week. Haha! I realize 2 walks isn't a whole lot, but it's something attainable, and…
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Added by Kellie on July 28, 2008 at 11:08pm —
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