I ate a big breakfast today and I am still not hungry to eat. This is the downside to overeating, I have to wait a REALLY long time to eat again which sucks. I brought home some cheese grits and I would really like to eat them right now!!! But I know I am not hungry and they are so delicious that I want to try and wait until I am hungry so I can really enjoy them. It kind of stinks but at the same time, I am able to look forward to something delicious once I am hungry!
Not only that but, since…
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Added by RollerCoaster on August 2, 2009 at 6:22pm —
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Why does work stress me out so much?!?! I find myself getting anxious without even knowing it, it just creeps up on me! All of a sudden my shouders are in my ears and I am breathing shallow and my whole neck area is tense! I have to remind myself to take deep breaths!
I have been repeating a mantra to myself for the last couple of days and it really relaxes me instantaneously. It goes a little something like this:
I am safe
Iam happy
I am healthy
I am strong
Some times I will throw in a littl…
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Added by RollerCoaster on July 8, 2009 at 1:49pm —
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I haven't worked out in about a month and I knew I just needed to break the seal. Well today I went!! I did about 22 minutes on the elliptical and the weight machine for my leg. Short workout but it felt WONDERFUL! I am so glad I went. When I got out I enjoyed the bike ride home, the weather in New Orleans was beautiful today.
I also got my hair done (cut and color) which was nice! My mom is coming to visit and have to have the hair done or she won't let me hear the end of it!! Sad...
Finally,…
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Added by RollerCoaster on July 6, 2009 at 8:34pm —
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I have had a lot of challenges in the last week, my boss went off on me, had a quasi argument with my mom and got a very annoying, bordering on obnoxious email from my stepmom. I have been starting to feel like everyone in my life is throwing all kinds of harsh judgement on me which I would imagine means they are harshly judging themselves?
Anyway, despite the challenges, the one bright light is that I haven't turned to food like I used to. I have still felt in control and hadn't overeaten. So…
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Added by RollerCoaster on June 30, 2009 at 9:11pm —
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I am at a convention for work and I am here alone and I am eating like crazy! I have not been in the mood to make small talk and new friends. I wish someone was here with me, I might be more willing to do it then, maybe because someone I know is watching. I even avoided talking with two women I do know! I don't know them well but I do know them. I feel shameful for behaving this way but I am really having a hard time snapping out of this attitude. There have just been a lot of challenges this we…
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Added by RollerCoaster on June 12, 2009 at 1:59am —
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I read Roni's post and I swear, I could not stop crying! It all started when I read this quote:
I have met my hero, and he is me. - George Sheehan
I don't know why but it really hit me. I think it is a great quote and it really hit home for me. I think for the first time I let myself reflect on what I have accomplished lately and feel really proud. I love that quote and every time I see it again or think about it, I start to well up again!
I think what I might be feeling is hope. Hope that I…
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Added by RollerCoaster on June 2, 2009 at 8:58pm —
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Eating in the evening has been something I have had a hard time stopping. So at a friend's suggestion I decided not to eat for an evening. At all. And just see how I felt.
First off, I ate a large lunch and ate past fullness knowing I wasn't going to be eating this evening. Taco Bell baby. That I was kind of disappointed at but I could tell it was because I knew I was going to be depriving myself this evening.
So, surprisingly it hasn't been that hard! I have had occaisional strong urges to ea…
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Added by RollerCoaster on May 27, 2009 at 11:14pm —
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I did well today during the day but when I got home I ate a bunch of chips, way past fullness. My husband had class so he was gone. I filled up my time with chips and bad tv. Has anyone seen The Nanny Diaries? Painful.
On a positive note, I didn't go crazy with the food. I made iced tea, downloaded all my financial information to Quicken to find some trends with my spending and figure out a budget and did a 10 minute meditation on www.myyogaonline.com.
Tomorrow is a new day. And my boss will b…
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Added by RollerCoaster on May 13, 2009 at 10:33pm —
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I edited my pre-eating meditation and I will attempt to say before at least one meal a day!
Deep breath...I am relaxed and peaceful.
Grant me the self awareness to eat the foods I enjoy
The presence to recognize satisfaction
And the courage to stop at perfect fullness.
May I enjoy the self love and confidence that will come from this experience.
I figured I'd use the structure of the serenity prayer since I already have it memorized.
I worked out tonight! One more day on my way to becoming a…
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Added by RollerCoaster on May 9, 2009 at 9:51pm —
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2. Take 100 photographs (or use existing pictures) that are meaningful to me and make them into a book
10. Create a CD of my favorite sing-a-long songs and keep it in the car
19. Send a “just because” gift to someone
30. Go to the Botanical Gardens in the spring
58. Become a regular exerciser
Okay, so I can cross off number 19. I sent my sister the ipod armband and she loved it! I got it in bright blue and she dresses in navy and gray so hopefully it wasn't too crazy a color for her :) I…
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Added by RollerCoaster on May 9, 2009 at 10:24am —
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I have been feeling a little overwhelmed by the change I am trying to make in my life with normal eating. Karen Koenig's blog post couldn't have come at a better time! This is what I read today:
http://www.eatingdisordersblogs.com/healthy/2009/05/focus-on-one-change.html
So I think one of my main roadblocks right now is stopping eating when I am satisfied. I have found myself over the last few days trying to focus on it and what happens is, I get hungry, I eat something delicious and while I am…
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Added by RollerCoaster on May 3, 2009 at 3:00pm —
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Several good things happened to me today! First, I got a shout out from Roni on her blog today!
http://ronisweigh.com/2009/04/are-your-goals-getting-in-the-way.html
That made me feel really good! I can't believe I have been following Roni's blog for YEARS. It's an amazing thing this internet and blogosphere. It's like when the telephone was first invented and women on the farm were able to talk to each other without having to go to town. It revolutionized their relationship with each other and…
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Added by RollerCoaster on April 29, 2009 at 9:30pm —
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Last night I did one of the things on my list. My sister has lost 20lbs and has been working out on an elliptical machine that I gave her when I moved. She is doing awesome and I am so proud of her. She has been using an Ipod and loving it but she really needs an armband. Who knows how long she'll wait to get one for herself so I sent one to her via Amazon. No note or anything. I can't wait for her to get it and call me LOL I hope it makes her feel good!
The armband I got was this one:…
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Added by RollerCoaster on April 29, 2009 at 8:47am —
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I was reading the Pasta Queen blog and found this blog entry:
http://pastaqueen.com/halfofme/archives/2009/04/how_to_build_se.html and it inspired me. I have been thinking a lot about how eating has sort of been my entertainment and I need to find other things to fill my time now that I am trying not to eat all the time!
So I thought the theme of my blog could be my self discovery process. Here I can identify those things that I like, things I like about myself, things I like to do, things that…
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Added by RollerCoaster on April 28, 2009 at 10:58pm —
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I think I have been eating for fun!!! Like, eating to perk up my day, make it more interesting, have something to look forward to, reward myself, etc. I realize this is not revolutionary but I kind of think it is for me. And when I sit and think about what I do for fun....it has been eating!!! I rack my brain trying to think of other things that inspire and excite me and that list is sadly limited. I need some inspiration!!
So if anyone is reading this and has already come to this realization,…
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Added by RollerCoaster on April 21, 2009 at 9:22pm —
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I talked to my sister today and she told me she was going to weight watchers and that she has lost 20 lbs. So, okay, I have feelings about this on both sides of the coin. And I also have feelings ABOUT my feelings! Whew, it's amazing how something can happen out of the blue, something so very minor, and it totally throws you for a loop.
I tried to dissect this in my mind so I wouldn't immediately go for the cheesy poofs.
First and foremost, I am very happy for her. She has vericose veins and i…
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Added by RollerCoaster on April 16, 2009 at 8:17pm —
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I am a person that lacks self trust. I am trying to grow it and the process is painfully slow but I feel it slowly getting stronger. One technique I just learned about is to ask myself, if I do this thing (whatever it is) will I feel pride or shame? Every decision I make should lead to pride and away from shame. Once I started asking myself this question, I realized how clear it made things for me.
Some things don't elicit a reaction from me which I can only assume means it doesn't matter all t…
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Added by RollerCoaster on April 15, 2009 at 9:45pm —
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I have a good friend who prays before she eats. Although I don't share her belief system, I appreciate the way she prays without concern of judgement and being with her when she does it sort of calms me in a way. I sort of envy her that confidence and ease, which I think might be a deadly sin but I'm just not going to think about that too much!
So when
Karen Koenig wrote about a pre-eating meditation, it…
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Added by RollerCoaster on April 13, 2009 at 3:00pm —
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Per Roni's blog and I agree that we often downplay progress. One of the major things I think about as I go through this process is how much I criticize myself. It's not really outward, it's not like I sit around beating myself up mentally, it's more of an undercurrent of daily life. The backdrop of all things I do. Getting out of a habit like that is difficult.
When I am feeling good mentally, I find it easy to give myself praise. Either way, I know it helps me to give myself praise for anythin…
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Added by RollerCoaster on April 8, 2009 at 10:08pm —
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Today was a little rough at work but I made it through. I made it in no small part due to www.myyogaonline.com. I signed up today and what a great site! They have meditations I can do at work as well as office yoga.
I think my midday meditation helped me keep my eating in check. I didn't warm up my entire red beans and rice with sausage, just half, knowing half would be enough. Same thing for dinner, I made one chorizo and egg burrito instead of two. Maybe it's a fluke but I'm going to praise m…
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Added by RollerCoaster on April 7, 2009 at 9:52pm —
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