No matter the plan... we all Blog to Lose!
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Rachel
- 24, Female
- Michigan
- United States
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- Blog Posts (275)
- Discussions (5)
- Groups (6)
- Photos (9)
- Photo Albums
Rachel's Groups
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Maintenance...HELP!
12 members
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5-a-Day Challenge
23 members
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30 Day Shred
67 members
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Breast Cancer 3Day Wal...
23 members
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College Calorie Counters
9 members
Rachel's Discussions
Night time cravings
Replied Jul 18
Success Story Ideas?!?
Replied Nov. 26, 2008
*Results Not Typical
Latest Activity
Great post! I'm in yo yo land again after originally losing 55 lbs, I'm up 20 lbs now. I miss running and exercise...which is what helped me to feel great and lose the weight. It's clear to me what I need to do for myself...Couch to 5K here I come...
This is such a great post. I really admire you for looking deeply inside and making this realization. I really hope I can be this introspective *when* I eventually get to my goal. Thank you for sharing this, it's so helpful for so many of us!
GREAT post Rachel...!! You DO have so much to be proud of! And congrats on signing up for the Half Marathon in April! That's AWESOME!!!
What a beautiful ephipany! Thats so true. Our weight and the way we look only goes so far. You can be skinny and be unhappy too. Im glad that youve realized how much youve accomplished and always be proud of that. I love when the contestants saw a...
I just watched the marathon episode too, ahh soo inspiring and I too can't wait for the running season to begin in the spring! Losing 100 pounds is a tremendous accomplishment and you should not short change your accomplishment. I'm always sort of...
Wow, the Biggest Loser was really emotional for me tonight... I cried a lot. I think it's because I relate so much to what the contestants have gone through with losing a huge amount of weight.
I had a huge epiphany near the end. For some reason ...
I am happy that your acknowleging the positive and seeing that you have still come a long way. Forgiveness is key. That is really hard so I envy you. I also know how you feel about wanting to be at your skinniest weight. Dont compare yourself. It ...
With everything you have going on, Rachel, I am amazed at how well you are doing. I honestly think I would have given up by now. You might have some slip-ups, but you are working at it and very conscious of what you are doing. I think that is fabu...
Profile Information
- About Me:
- I am a wife, mother, and full time student. I have now lost over 100 pounds. This is my journey!
My Weight Stats:
Height: 5'4"
Starting weight: 239.3
Current weight: 134.6
Weekly Weigh-in Results:
8/11- 236
8/18- 230 (-6)
8/25- 225 (-5)
9/1- 219 (-6)
9/8- 217.5 (-1.5)
9/15- 215.5 (-2)
9/22- 212 (-3.5)
9/29- 210.5 (-1.5)
10/6- 207.5 (-3)
10/13- 207 (-.5)
10/20- 202 (-5)
10/27- 200 (-2)
11/3- 198 (-2)
11/10- 196 (-2)
11/17- 193 (-3)
11/24- 190.5 (-2.5)
12/1- 188 (-2.5)
12/8- 187 (-1)
12/15- 185.5 (-1.5)
12/22- 181 (-4.5)
12/29- 180.5 (-.5)
1/5- 179/182.3 (got a new scale that's 3.3 pounds heavier) (-1.5)
1/12- 178.9 (-3.4)
1/19- 177.4 (-1.5)
1/26- 175.8 (-1.6)
2/2- 175.8 (-0)
2/9- 172.5 (-3.3)
2/16- 168.2 (-4.3)
2/23- 165.6 (-2.6)
3/2- 165.8 (+.2)
3/9- 162.6 (-3.2 )
3/16- 160.9 (-1.7)
3/23- 159.3 (-1.6)
3/30- 156.6 (-2.7)
4/6- 154.4 (-2.2)
4/13- 150.7 (-3.7)
4/20- 148 (-2.7)
4/27- 146.4 (-1.6)
5/4- 144.5 (-1.9)
5/11- 141.4 (-3.1)
5/18- 139.8 (-1.6)
5/25- 137.9 (-1.9)
6/1- 134.2 (-3.7)
6/8- 132.9 (-1.3)
6/15- 131.0 (-1.9)
6/22- 129.7 (-1.3)
6/29- 128.4 (-1.3)
7/6- 124.9 (-3.5)
***started maintenance
7/13- 122.7 (-2.2)
7/20- 121.3 (-1.4)
7/26- 119.9 (-1.4)
8/2- 120.2 (+.2)
8/17- 127.2 (+7)
8/24- 121.7 (-5.5)
10/30- 137.4
11/15- 138.4
11/22- 134.6
- Plan of Choice:
- Weight Watchers
- Website/Blog:
- http://findingthemiddleground.blogspot.com
- Workout Philosophy:
- I'm a Running Fanatic, I love lifting weights
My Story
I've always gone up and down in weight my whole life and never seemed to be able to maintain any weight. But in August of 2008 I hit my all time highest weight of 239 pounds. I tried weight watchers for the third time (this time just at home) and had success with it. I lost the first 50 without exercise and then began exercising with Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred in December. I'm so glad I did because I'll always say that DVD changed not only my body but my life. I will never again be sedentary. I began running (using the couch to 5K program) in March and I also began doing No More Trouble Zones, also by Jillian Michaels. I fell in love with running, and have done a couple 5k's and a 10k. I've started biking more lately and also enjoy that... I would love to branch out and find new forms of exercise I haven't tried! Exercise is the biggest stress reliever for me and I feel like I don't function well without it now.
I recently arrived in maintenance-land, and while I miss the excitement of looking forward to a goal, I love just loving where I'm at. And I'm constantly trying to improve myself, this journey is never over.
I love blog to lose. The support everyone has given me is unlike anything else, and I've said many times I don't think I would be where I'm at without everyone here.
I recently arrived in maintenance-land, and while I miss the excitement of looking forward to a goal, I love just loving where I'm at. And I'm constantly trying to improve myself, this journey is never over.
I love blog to lose. The support everyone has given me is unlike anything else, and I've said many times I don't think I would be where I'm at without everyone here.
Rachel's Photos
Rachel's Blog
Biggest Loser
Wow, the Biggest Loser was really emotional for me tonight... I cried a lot. I think it's because I relate so much to what the contestants have gone through with losing a huge amount of weight.
I had a huge epiphany near the end. For some reason it just hit me- I hate thinking about myself as someone priorly overweight and I always avoid thinking about it. I just feel like being smaller is the way I've always been- sometimes I think I trick myself into thinking that. I think because I was only… Continue
I had a huge epiphany near the end. For some reason it just hit me- I hate thinking about myself as someone priorly overweight and I always avoid thinking about it. I just feel like being smaller is the way I've always been- sometimes I think I trick myself into thinking that. I think because I was only… Continue
Posted on December 1, 2009 at 11:07pm — 5 Comments
Funk
I am fighting a funk right now. Thanksgiving actually went fine… I ran 30 minutes in the morning, fought the urge to get a donut (and won), and ate okay all day. Sure, I indulged a little too much but nothing major at all. Then Friday I had a brunch with my high school friends, and I indulged a little but again, nothing major. Then the rest of the day went fine until dinner. We went out to Qdoba and instead of getting what I usually get I got the nachos and ate the whole thing. Then that kind of… Continue
Posted on November 28, 2009 at 2:43pm — 3 Comments
A week full of hope
This has been a HUGE week for me, both physically and emotionally. I'll start with the physical.
Last week I weighed in at 138.4... today I weighed in at 134.6. 3.8 pounds lost... whoo hoo! I had the best week with eating that I've had in a looooooooong time. The only time I went over points was Thursday night I had a binge of 4 cookies. But that was IT. No binge Friday, no binge Saturday. Incredible. The urge has gone down a lot, but it's still there. I finally actually WANT to not binge, I wa… Continue
Last week I weighed in at 138.4... today I weighed in at 134.6. 3.8 pounds lost... whoo hoo! I had the best week with eating that I've had in a looooooooong time. The only time I went over points was Thursday night I had a binge of 4 cookies. But that was IT. No binge Friday, no binge Saturday. Incredible. The urge has gone down a lot, but it's still there. I finally actually WANT to not binge, I wa… Continue
Posted on November 22, 2009 at 1:32pm — 3 Comments
A week full of hope
This has been a HUGE week for me, both physically and emotionally. I'll start with the physical.
Last week I weighed in at 138.4... today I weighed in at 134.6. 3.8 pounds lost... whoo hoo! I had the best week with eating that I've had in a looooooooong time. The only time I went over points was Thursday night I had a binge of 4 cookies. But that was IT. No binge Friday, no binge Saturday. Incredible. The urge has gone down a lot, but it's still there. I finally actually WANT to not binge, I wa… Continue
Last week I weighed in at 138.4... today I weighed in at 134.6. 3.8 pounds lost... whoo hoo! I had the best week with eating that I've had in a looooooooong time. The only time I went over points was Thursday night I had a binge of 4 cookies. But that was IT. No binge Friday, no binge Saturday. Incredible. The urge has gone down a lot, but it's still there. I finally actually WANT to not binge, I wa… Continue
Posted on November 22, 2009 at 1:32pm —
My Week in Bullet Points
- The challenge is going awesome, and I am exercising every day
- I had a colossal binge last night
- ... but that was my only binge the whole week
- Last Sunday I was 138.2... today I was 138.4
- I didn't weigh myself once during the week
- TOM FINALLY came after 7 months of being gone... and I felt like celebrating!!! I feel normal again
- I feel like my hormones and emotions are balancing out again after a long time of being out of wack
- I'm ready to have another healthy week
- I'm ready to… Continue
- I had a colossal binge last night
- ... but that was my only binge the whole week
- Last Sunday I was 138.2... today I was 138.4
- I didn't weigh myself once during the week
- TOM FINALLY came after 7 months of being gone... and I felt like celebrating!!! I feel normal again
- I feel like my hormones and emotions are balancing out again after a long time of being out of wack
- I'm ready to have another healthy week
- I'm ready to… Continue
Posted on November 15, 2009 at 1:15pm — 5 Comments
Comment Wall (460 comments)
- At 5:50pm on November 25, 2009,
Maren said…
- Hey Rachel! Things are good. Therapy is going well. I seem to have a good week and then a bad week. I havent binged but I am really weight obsessed. If the scale moves up I freak. Im trying to not weigh myself and Im trying to relaize that Im healthier around 130-135. My period came back and I have realized that when I am active and when I run a lot, I just cant stay around 125. This is hard for me to realize and come to terms with but Ive got to do it. I need to be healthy both physically and mentally. Its a hard road but Im moving forward. How are you?
- At 12:37pm on November 17, 2009,
Hannah said… - Thanks for the video tips, Rachel! I actually have those that you listed. I've been doing 30DS, but not consistently. I've only done Level 1. How would you recommend doing it? I've done NMTZ once. I've gotta get back into an exercise routine. My whole body and mind feel sooo crappy!
- At 8:16pm on November 15, 2009,
Angela said… - Hey Rachel - thanks for checking in on me. I've been on a BTL hiatus because I've been so busy in other areas of my life. But I'm still on the weight loss journey. I'll post an update to fill you in. I'm glad to see that you are still blogging. This is really a struggle and I appreciate you sharing your feelings/struggles/successes with all of us. :)
- At 2:38pm on November 13, 2009,
AnnaBanana said… - Rachel, i don't often comment but i follow your blog and share your struggles. i subscribe to an emial newsletter by Geneen Roth and the recent message about bingeing made me think of you. so i am sharing the article (i used cut and paste)
sorry it is so long! go to geneenroth.com for very insightful and life-changing info!
About Binges
The other week, when I was at a gas station filling the tank, washing my windshield, checking the oil, and adding little whooshes of air to my tires, I noticed a woman in the car next to me eating a piece of pizza. And then another. And then the entire pizza. After that, she ate a box of donuts and a carton of ice cream. I wanted to walk over to her and say, "Oh, honey, tell me what's going on...." Then I remembered that when I was bingeing, I would have run down anything that stood between me and food. So I decided to preserve my life and not interrupt the Binge Trance. Still, I couldn't get her out of my mind for the rest of the day.
Bingeing used to thrill me. From the moment I decided to binge, to the hunting and gathering of the food that would be its centerpiece, through the eating (um, inhaling) of those foods, I would be heart-pounding, eyes-gleaming enthralled.
A binge had the power to stop time. To stop everything that was disturbing me: the worries, the nitty-gritty tasks I was avoiding, the arguments I was having with a friend or family member. Bingeing was a way to sidestep my life and enter a world in which nothing existed but me and food. It was, as I've called it in my books, "a plunge into oblivion."
The hardest part of bingeing was, natch, when I reached the end. The last bite would be taken, and I'd be surrounded by the evidence of my romp (which was really more like a rampage) through the grocery store: empty cans, crumpled cellophane packages, torn cardboard boxes. I'd end a binge feeling unbearably full — and incredibly empty. Only now I had added another layer of pain to my list of pre-binge worries: my seemingly out-of-control relationship to food and my ever-increasing body size. The truth was that rather than take any of my pain away, I'd just doubled it by bingeing, and the resulting desperation was almost unbearable.
Having paid close attention to my many binges, and having been asked countless binge questions over the years, I think I've gleaned some wisdom that's worth sharing.
First, we all need to have built-in plunges into oblivion. We need to give ourselves permission to check out from the frantic, overwhelming pace of our lives. If you watch small children, you'll see that they race around madly and then collapse. They put out huge amounts of energy, and then they need to rest. We're like that, too, but we've forgotten about the downtime part.
We think we can be on the run endlessly and be fine.
Wrong.
The rhythm of exertion needs to be followed by rest. There is a time to run around and a time to plunge into oblivion. If we don't build the latter into our lives, we suffer. Either we become utterly exhausted or we sneak a plunge on the sly, sometimes while sitting in a car at a gas station. We grab time for ourselves by bingeing, and because we don't feel we're allowed the luxury of downtime, we end up hurting ourselves.
Downtime is not a luxury; it's a necessity. The food-free version could include reading, knitting, even watching soap operas. But if you are so tired that you can't imagine doing one more thing, what you should do is simple: nothing. Even for five minutes a day. If it's too outlandish to consider resting and either doing nothing or doing what you love, then it's time to take a second look at how you've constructed a life that includes everyone but you.
I also have some advice on what you can do when you find yourself knee-deep in the Binge Trance. Try to become aware of the part of you that is separate from the activity, the part that is witnessing what you are doing and saying, "Wow, I am sitting in my car at a gas station by myself surrounded by $50 worth of pizza and donuts — I wonder what's going on?" Pay attention to that voice at least as much as you are paying attention to the next bite. Be curious about what you are doing.
And at the very least, taste the food you are eating. My experience in bingeing — whether it's on two cookies or an entire cake — is that I am so caught up in getting the food in my mouth, I forget to taste it, to enjoy it. And as long as you are eating, you might as well enjoy it. If bingeing is the only time you give yourself permission to eat your favorite foods, why let the moment pass you by without noticing the crunch of those foods? Since binges are a way to give yourself something, let yourself receive it. The positive by-product of this awareness is that compulsion and mindfulness cannot coexist. Once you become aware of what you are doing, it's harder to continue with the same momentum.
What if you finish every last bite or drop? What do you say to yourself, how do you treat yourself? I have a three-word directive for coming off a binge: Be unspeakably kind. In the empty fullness left after bingeing, the "I can't believe you did this again, what's the matter with you, you are a failure now and forevermore" voices sense a place to step in. And when they do, they roar.
Don't let them. If they threaten to overtake you, imagine them, as a therapist friend of mine says, as teeny screeching mice the size of your thumbnail. Imagine putting them in a jar and covering it with a very strong lid. Since their squawking can't hurt you now, treat yourself as if you were doing your very best. Live as if you deserve to be here, regardless of what you have just eaten. And know that every time you remind yourself that you belong here, regardless of what you weigh, you are speaking the truth
- At 12:50pm on November 13, 2009,
Lynn said… - Thanks Rachel! I have to tell you that it really does feel wonderful to finally be getting back on track. How are you doing?
- At 11:23pm on November 11, 2009,
Hannah said…
- Hi Rachel!
I have been MIA for quite a while, but feel better after writing my much overdue post. I'm so glad to see you've been having a great week. You continue to inspire me. I'm a binge-eater as well, and although I haven't been posting, I continue to read your posts for motivation and encouragement. I'm proud of you.
- At 9:42am on November 10, 2009,
EmilyRose said… - Hi Rachel!!
Thank you so much for the comment on my blog. I'm sorry it's been so long since i've been around! Just posted a NEW blog =) I'm excited to catch up on your posts and get back into the swing of BTL!
- At 8:08am on November 10, 2009,
Erica said… - Make lots of beans & freeze them it is so much better than canned. I'm so glad that I got back into doing this!
- At 7:10pm on November 8, 2009,
StEpHaNiE* said… - Hey! Thanks for checking up on me! My computer died so I didn't have any access to the internet for the past few weeks. I got a new computer now though so I'm back :) I did not have a good month of October - I ate too much and didn't exercise - I just couldn't stay on track. I'm motivated again though to get back in shape and get healthy again so here's hoping it sticks this time. How have you been doing? I'm going to catch up on your blog now :)
- At 12:13pm on November 6, 2009,
Tricia said…
- Thanks, Rachel! I feel so good this week. I have 20 lbs I want to lose to get to exactly where I was before I got pregnant. Think I can do it by Christmas? I would be thrilled to lose 15 lbs by Christmas, actually. I think I'll set that goal.
I don't think I will read Intuitive Eating. It sounds like it almost messed you up. ha ha I love WW, and honestly I don't care if I have to think in POINTS the rest of my life. After I hit goal, I didn't really track on paper and I seemed to be okay. I had ups and downs, but I know I will always have to work to maintain my weight.
So how are you doing right now? How much are you running these days? Are you doing 30 Day Shred? I need to get back into that. I am just doing my walk/jog in the morning. I need to get some strength training back into my routine.
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